Geneseo, NY Fire Chief Andrew Chanler told WHAM “alcohol fueled incidents take up most of his crew’s activity from Thursday night through weekend.” At least some of the drunks are taking it upon themselves to drive the ambulance. No, wait, that’s terrible.

The Rochester-area news report from this weekend says paramedics were responding to a call for an intoxicated SUNY Geneseo student when 22-year-old Colin Dahlberg, allegedly another wasted college kid, helped himself to the ambulance he found to be unlocked.

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Dahlberg, at twice the legal blood-alchohol limit according to Geneseo Village Police, took off in the rescue vehicle and utilized the radio to say; “God bless America.” Whether or not he got the chance to play with the blinky-blinky lights or wee-woo-wee-woo noises is unknown because the cops shut him down about a mile from campus.

Reports say he’s been charged with DWI and Criminal Possession of Stolen Property. Not great letters to get on the ol’ transcript.

Chief Chandler is not amused. “This goes beyond a prank and it was definitely an attempt to really cause some havoc,” he detailed to WHAM. I have a feeling it was just a prank in the alcohol-addled mind of young Mr. Dahlberg but that’s not going to play well in court against an angry fire department.

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If you’re going to get drunk, please go ahead and leave your car locked up with the parking brake on. If you’re going to park your car near drunks, you might want to do the same.

Images via Geneseo, NY FD and Fryderyk Supinski/Flickr of a different, but similar, ambulance


Contact the author at andrew@jalopnik.com.