Expensive and awesome outdoor brand lined up with a good half-ton truck: the Bass Pro Shops Edition Toyota Tundra sure sounds like it has a lot of potential. But what it has is a sticker and some bolt-on fender flares. It feels like a missed opportunity for some Toyota-branded coolers and integrated fishing rod holders, but what do I know.

The 2014 Toyota Tundra CrewMax (full four-door) was unveiled at the State Fair Of Texas, and will be sold at Toyota dealers in the Gulf States of Arkansas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Texas, and Oklahoma (not on the Gulf, but apparently part of the party).

For $43,975 you can get a 2014 Toyota Tundra CrewMax full four-door with:

  • 20" Milled-Matte Black Wheels and All Terrain Upgrade
  • Custom Bass Pro Shops Carpeted Floor Mats
  • Bass Pro Shops Off-Road Bed Decals
  • 5" Oval Black Step Tubes
  • Spray-On Bedliner
  • Pocketed Fender Flares
  • Stainless Steel Exhaust Tip
  • $1,000 worth of "fishing, hunting, camping or marine outdoor gear lifestyle" from Bass Pro Shops

I love trucks, and I love fishing (by "fishing" I mean consuming alcohol near a body of water). If this had included some nifty innovation like a fishing-rod holder that didn't look like a third-world fence tacked to the front bumper I might have thought; "Hey, Toyota's pretty cool. They're thinking up neat elaborations to spice up their ancient truck."

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But nah, they had to go and throw "stainless steel exhaust tip" as a line item on their Bass Pro Shops package. Automakers: putting that bullet point on your "added features" list is like adding double-and-a-half spacing an eighth-grade essay. You ain't fooling anybody; you came up short and you know it.

And I think most will agree you've got to do a little better than new tires and tacked-on fender flares to have a giant "OFF-ROAD" badge that size.

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Speaking of those flairs; what is with those enormous screws? Frankenstein's neck had a cleaner install.

The Mossy Oak Ram 1500 Chrysler trotted out a few months ago wasn't fitted out with gun mounts either (it totally should have been), but at least they took it one step further with hunting-camo interior inserts. I mean, for those who are into that kind of thing.

Images: Toyota