Project Cullinan mule

A Rolls-Royce SUV doesn’t make any damn sense. And you know what? Even Rolls-Royce agrees.

That’s why it’s not going to call the “Project Cullinan” SUV, uh, project an SUV. Instead, the bigger-than-a-normal-Rolls-Royce-whatever that the automaker is developing will be labeled a “high-sided vehicle,” according to a report from Motoring.

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In typical Rolls-Royce fashion, the company wants to distance itself from the term SUV and although the high-sided vehicle – HSV? – is widely expected to be a high-riding luxury wagon, [global product communications manager Andrew] Boyle hinted the company could make a departure from this tried-and-tested route, further separating itself from the current prestige SUV king, the Bentley Bentayga.

“A number of other brands are entering into this area as well, with their own interpretations of what a luxury SUV should be. You’ll have to wait to see what we decide it should be, but I think you’ll find that it’ll be a different interpretation to what’s available today,” said Boyle.

What the hell is a high-sided vehicle? Isn’t that another term for, like, a panel van or something?

A Rolls-Royce has always been about as massive as a car could possibly become, so perhaps the mad scientists over there have figured out a way of just scaling up its current product offerings. A bigger Phantom would probably not be very good for the “sport” or “utility” part of the SUV equation, so perhaps Rolls is onto something with the new classification.

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But the weird stuff doesn’t stop with the upcoming SUV—Rolls-Royce is also working on a new crossover, except Motoring suggests it may be introduced as a “shooting brake,” and not a crossover.

Whatever Rolls is working on—the SUV thing, crossover thing, and the new Phantom—are all due in 2018. We’ll see what Frankenstein behemoths they’ve been working on.