This grille has a lot going on, but I think it works. (Images: Ford)

The 2017 Ford Super Duty trucks, which includes F-250, F-350, and the pickup truck version of the F-450, have been fully redesigned for the first time since pogs were currency and your dad had a pager. And the new capability claims, well, they’re big.

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Here’s the short version: 440 horsepower and 925 lb-ft of torque. Carry 7,630 pounds in the bed or 32,500 pounds on a trailer. A 6.7-liter Power Stroke diesel, six-speed TorqShift automatic transmission.

Now for those with a longer attention span, let’s break it down a little further.

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Based on apparent success of the new-for-2015 F-150, Ford has carried-over the aluminum body idea to their big trucks for 2017. Ford says that cuts the truck’s curb weight by as much as 350 pounds for some variants. Underneath the skin is an “all-new” steel frame Ford claims is 24 times stiffer than the outgoing model to support meteoric towing and hauling levels.

Looks like there’s some decent ground clearance there, even with the front air splitter.

We’ll get the full spec sheet when we drive the trucks in Colorado next week, but for now Ford has teased out a few extreme specs from their heavy duty lineup:

The maximum gross combined weight (GVWR) rating for a Ford Super Duty truck and trailer is 41,800 pounds. That means the truck, whatever’s in it, and whatever it’s towing, can legally (and apparently mechanically) weigh about half of what a fully-loaded semi truck can weigh.

Now in order to operate a rig that weighs more than 26,000 pounds, you generally need a commercial driver’s license. Of course there are ways around that, which is why you might see “NOT FOR HIRE” stickers on very large private vehicles, but for the love of all things holy, do us all a favor and get some training before you cut yourself loose on the highway with that much mass at your command.

That said, Ford seems to have done just about everything they can to make you look good driving this leviathan even if you have no idea what you’re doing. Adaptive cruise control still works with a trailer and payload. So does collision-warnings and brake support.

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An advanced blind-spot warning system that covers your ass even with a 30-foot trailer and more cameras than a casino vault make driving this thing, presumably, pretty hard to screw up.

Yep, single cab still available.

The F-450 SuperCrew (full four-door) 4x4 has a gooseneck tow rating of 32,500 pounds. Fifth-wheel towing is increased to 27,500 pounds. The lowly F-250 has a payload capacity (bed-carrying) of 4,200 pounds and the F-350 can haul 7,630 pounds.

I’ll say again: 7,630 pounds. In the bed of your pickup truck. That’s more than 900 gallons of water. Up to 19 cubic yards of light mulch. It’s twice the weight of most cars!

I don’t know how you’re going to do it, but anybody who can max one of these monsters will be my new hero.

Ford’s Power Stroke engines used to be made by International, but the company has abandon that relationship to build the Super Duty’s diesel engine in-house for this generation of the truck. There’s still a gasoline option too; the 6.2-liter V8 you might recognize from the previous Super Duty (and last-gen F-150 Raptor) with 385 horsepower and a paltry 430 lb-ft of torque.

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Fuel economy probably won’t be disclosed by the manufacturer because it doesn’t have to be– trucks this size are not regulated by the EPA the same way half-ton trucks and most “normal” road going cars are.

The 2017 Super Duty lineup will be in dealerships by fall 2016, and we’ll be driving them for the first time next week. Stay tuned.