Photo credit: Mercedes-Maybach

The Mercedes G-Wagen is a ridiculous vehicle even in its lowest, base trim. Nothing else gives you the feeling of being above everyone else like an overpowered G-Wagen, like a semi-truck, inexplicably clad in soft, supple leather. In “it’s about friggin’ time” news, here is the Mercedes-Maybach G 650 Landaulet, the first Maybach version of a G-Wagen.

It’s powered by a biturbo V12 AMG engine producing 630 horsepower and 738 lb-ft of torque good for a you-don’t-care 13.8 MPG. At 17.5 feet long and 7.3 feet tall, it’s as big as the dinosaurs you’re burning with reckless abandon.

Best of all, it has a delightfully silly electric convertible top over the rear seats. It’s utterly perfect for the budding dictator who’d like to wave to their state-mandated fans from a tougher-looking vehicle than the usual armored Merc sedan.

Photo credit: Mercedes-Maybach

For once, you’d actually want to sit in the rear seats of a G-Wagen. Replacing the afterthought of a hard bench seat that normally rides back there is a pair of reclining seats and a fancy center console. The wheelbase has been extended 22.7 inches to improve rear legroom. In addition to having several inflatable air cushions to hug the contours of your body, the seats come equipped with massage capabilities and a fully adjustable calf rest. It’s a four-seater max, and all the better for it.

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Even the center console is no joke. Inside the center console are two airplane-style leather-covered fold-out trays. Additionally, thermal cupholders can keep your travel mug full of poor person perspiration warm or cool, based on how you like it.

Photo credit: Mercedes-Maybach

The rear seats also come equipped with their own HVAC controls, entertainment system with two ten-inch displays, and controls for the soft top and lighting. Individual glove compartments for each rear seat offer storage for items you’d rather not be found. A glass partition which can be made opaque can be raised to separate the driver’s compartment from the rear as well.

Finally, short people can rejoice at the G-Wagen, too. An electronically-extending step makes getting in and out less of a climb.

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In short, the G 650 Landaulet is perfect in its infinite stupidity. Think of the regular G as a glitter-coated military spork whose sole purpose is one-upmanship and whose actual utility is a mere side benefit. Glitter is for five-year-olds, hippies and dancers at The Landing Strip, okay? Maybach owners deserve a diamond-encrusted spork.

Photo credit: Mercedes-Maybach

That side effect of being a usable truck is still there. There are front and rear underride guards, just in case you do venture off pavement. Portal axles—where the wheels sit down from the axle itself—provide 17.7 inches of ground clearance. Differential locks and the transfer case’s low-gear can be engaged on the fly for off-road use, too.

Only 99 of the greatest G-Series ever made will be produced—that is, until the next insane variation of this truck comes around. We’re in love.

Pricing was not specified in Mercedes’ announcement of the truck. If you have to ask, HA!

Photo credit: Mercedes-Maybach
Photo credit: Mercedes-Maybach
Photo credit: Mercedes-Maybach
Photo credit: Mercedes-Maybach
Photo credit: Mercedes-Maybach
Photo credit: Mercedes-Maybach
Photo credit: Mercedes-Maybach
Photo credit: Mercedes-Maybach
Photo credit: Mercedes-Maybach
Photo credit: Mercedes-Maybach
Photo credit: Mercedes-Maybach
Photo credit: Mercedes-Maybach
Photo credit: Mercedes-Maybach
Photo credit: Mercedes-Maybach