If you could picture in your head a Jeep designed by a 12 year-old, that image in your noggin would be this: a chopped 2002 Grand Cherokee adorned with more Autozone chrome bits than is legal in some countries. Proceed through this article with caution.
Sold by a poor bastard named David in Phoenix, what you’re looking at is a second-generation “WJ” Grand Cherokee that has had its top lopped off and replaced by a Wrangler-esque sport bar and a tonneau cover.
The owner who created this monstrosity is selling it because he’s having health problems, which is sad, but considering what the guy did to this Jeep, it wouldn’t be surprising if there were some preexisting conditions already in play.
First off, you can’t sawzall the roof off a unibody vehicle just because you want a convertible— there are rules against this (governed by physics!).
But even if we assume the builder was a seasoned engineer skilled in Finite Element Analysis, this Jeep is plagued by many other atrocities. This “one of a kind beauty,” as the apparently visually-challenged seller describes it, comes with a “sporty hood scoop” and a grille that, well— honestly, I don’t know what to say about this grille. Brace yourself:
On the sides, this thing’s got rock rails, and little mesh quarter-doors to stop your protein powder and dumbbells from rolling out of the Jeep.
Then, on the back, there are some chrome badges clearly picked up at Autozone spelling out “P826" (I have no clue what that means), and there’s a fire extinguisher— appropriate, considering the fact that I’m sure many have tried to kill this thing with fire.
The saddest thing about this Jeep— worse than the top, the fake hood scoop, the Autozone badges, the tiny mesh doors, and the chrome mirrors and grille— is the price tag: $6,995.
An overpriced hackjob Jeep— it’s a Jeeper’s worst nightmare.