On first viewing, one could easily mistake this Gentleman Motorist for someone who is quite, in fact, inebriated. But they would be wrong. What we have here is someone clearly vexed by a problem known throughout the land to schoolchildren for ages. The floor is lava, and it must be avoided at all costs.

What is he doing in the back of his pickup bed? Why is he wearing a high-visibility vest? And is the floor really lava? Irrelevant questions, all.

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My one question is whether or not the inevitable tumble onto the lava itself was harmful, in any way, to either the body or the psyche.

Also we never see the guy actually drive off, just get behind the wheel, but for safety’s sake let’s hope somebody stopped him.


Contact the author at ballaban@jalopnik.com.
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